Lessons from Motherhood

In two days, my Sweet Caroline will be ONE YEAR old. Wow. I know that most people think of this as a huge milestone for the child, but it is also a pretty big milestone for me because that means that we have kept a human alive and thriving for an entire year. If you knew me before I had a child, you would understand why I think this is such a big deal. The thought of being solely responsible for a little person and knowing exactly what to do with said little person terrified me.

Caroline has no doubt grown, but I have gone through a pretty remarkable transformation myself: I became a mom. Not just in the sense of carrying and giving birth to her. No, no. That was the easy part. It is a whole different story when that little person is on the outside and it is up to you to decipher that cry and do your best to figure out what that little person needs. Through all of this, I have learned a few things. These are things that I find to be "truths" of motherhood. They may not be the same for everyone, but these are some lessons I have learned from my first year as a mother.

1. Babies cry. Some times a lot. Some times for no reason. Some times for a very good reason. Some times it makes you contemplate self-inflicting your own hearing loss.

2. There is no limit to what you will do to make your child smile. Public humiliation is not out of the question.

3. Mothers/parents operate under a new kind of normal. As in it is normal to only get two hours of sleep and still be a functioning human being the next day.

4. You're tired. Really, really, really tired. Raising humans is tough work physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can't think of one time in the last year that I haven't been tired. Even when you get a full 8 hours of sleep, you are still tired.

5. Multitasking takes on a whole new meaning. I am fairly certain that I could conquer the world with a baby on my hip at this point. There is not much I haven't done while holding Caroline. Including getting dressed. And with that, you become much more efficient. I am throughly convinced that if our government were run by mothers, we would not be in this current predicament.

6. You learn a whole new meaning of "happy". Sure I was happy before I had Caroline, but it just doesn't even compare to the happy that I know now. One little smile can make my heart dance.

7. Things change between you and your spouse. Usually for the better in many ways, but having a child is also a whole new stress on a marriage. It takes some work and LOTS of communication to keep things going smoothly.

8. The mountain of laundry never ends. I am convinced that Santa's Elves moonlight in the off-season and dump clothes in my laundry baskets when I am not looking.

9. Your house will never be the same. You know that beautiful coffee table that you just had to have? You will seriously rethink it when you have a mobile child. All of a sudden, you will find yourself very into the "padded and tufted" look.

10. You keep a whole new set of hours. For instance, I had never been in a restaurant before 7:00 p.m. The thought of going to dinner at 7:00 now makes Steven and I cringe. We are tight with the blue hairs and enjoy the early bird special.

11. You have to trade in a lot of things that were once important to you. I say "trade in" because I don't really feel you have to give everything up (unless you are a meth addict, then yes, it is a case of "give up"), but you definitely have to put aside what you want in order to meet the little persons needs. The funny thing is, the vast majority of the time, you don't even realize you are sacrificing something for yourself. And when you do realize it, you don't care.

12. Baby poop stinks. I don't care what any one says. There is no way of sugar coating it and just because it came from a sweet little person does not mean it is sweet. To this day, I still gag every single time I change a poopy diaper.

13. Mother/parenthood makes you do things you never ever in a million years thought you could do. See number 12.

14. I am convinced that God installs a "reserve tank" in women when they become mothers. Even when you think you're running on fumes, you somehow keep trudging along.

15. That being said, I am pretty sure he puts the cheap gas in that reserve tank because you do some pretty stupid stuff when you are in that mode. I may or may not have put shaving cream in my hair instead of shampoo. And that is probably the least humiliating of my offenses.

16. You can kiss your memory good-bye. I am convinced that being a mother kills brain cells. There are days that I literally can not remember if I put deodorant on 5 minutes ago. So I put it on again. And again.

17. The size of the boogers that can come out of such a little nose will never cease to amaze you.

18. There are a lot of days that you "just want a break". And then the minute you get one, you miss that little face.

19. Some times you just need a good cry. And a hug. And a glass of wine. And a lobotomy.

20. Teeth are evil. Really, really evil. I am convinced that teething is a form of terrorism.

21. Even will all the precautions in the world, babies will eventually get sick. And you just have to ride it out.... In the recliner.... For three nights in a row.

22. "Sterilized" takes on a whole new meaning after a couple months. Rather than germ-free, "clean" in our house now means "Did Fred lick it when it fell on the floor? No? Ok."

23. You will have crazy thoughts. For example, at 3:00 a.m., you may find yourself silently cursing your husband for his inability to lactate... And you may want to smother him with his pillow because he is sleeping so peacefully. (I said you will have crazy thoughts; I never said act on them).

24. Never in your life will you be more interested in poop. You may or may not demand play by play details of the diapers you don't change. You can recall with total accuracy how many diapers your child has gone through in the last week, yet you can't even remember if you brushed your teeth that day. And you don't even find it odd when it becomes a dinner time topic of choice between you and your spouse.

25. Never say never (except in the case of mini-vans). You never know what good ol' motherhood will force you to do.

26. You will never look at ordinary objects the same way. You begin to look at them as either potential toys or hazards.

27. You're tired. Did I mention that already?

28. The contents of your purse will totally change. Where it used to contain lip gloss, a brush etc., it now contains Boogie Wipes, Baby Mum Mums, and toys.

29. You begin to measure time in increments such as "How many Baby Mum Mums will it take to get through the grocery store?"

30. Some times you just have one of those days like the above picture illustrates. And for the record, yes, I did actually post that sign on my door... And left it there for 2 days....

31. You will begin to forget what life was like before this wondrous little being arrived. And you will wonder what you did with all of your time.

32. Some days, there is just not enough caffeine in the world. Because you're really tired. Have I mentioned that yet? Did I mention memory loss as well?

33. The furry creatures which were once your babies and your everything become *gasp* dogs.

34. Your husband notices when you put on make up and fix you hair in the same day.

35. You don't think much about the fact that your shirt is covered in drool/snot/spit-up.

36. You learn a new definition of fun. Whereas fun used to be dinner and drinks, it now consists of dancing to Elmo's song and playing peek-a-boo.

37. You learn a whole new definition of love. The really really good, warm-fuzzies all over, take a bullet, unconditional kind of love.

38. Your parents, aka "The Grandparents", no longer get excited to see you. As a matter of fact, they don't even realize you are in the same room.

39. Before buying any piece of clothing for a girl, the do-I-have-a-bow-that-matches factor becomes one of the most crucial criteria.

40. Leaving the house feels like you are leaving to go into battle for 3 years. This is what the Boy Scouts refered to when they said "Always be prepared". Because what can go wrong, will go wrong while you are out.

41. It is hard. Really, really, really hard. Nobody tells you exactly how hard it is. If they did, you wouldn't do it. But it does get easier; never easy, but easier. Even with that said, at the end of the day, you would do it all over again just for that one little person.

(I know, it is kinda random that I had 41 reasons. I'm not one to end on a random number like that, but that's all I can think of and Caroline just woke up, so I better get back on the job!)

Caroline 11 Months

So I realize that it is March and I am just now posting this.... But, what can I say, life has been crazy around here. Any way, here it is finally... Just in time for Caroline to turn 1...

Eleven months.... Eleven months... ELEVEN MONTHS.... I just have to keep saying it to make myself believe it. I can not believe that in about 2 weeks, I will have a one year old. Crazy.

I don't even know where to begin on this one. Our world has literally been turned upside down because Caroline decided to make walking her #1 form of transportation. She had been walking here and there before, but about a month ago, she finally got brave enough to just keep going... And going... And going. The crab crawl is pretty much non-existent around here. It is actually kinda sad-the little things you take for granted.

I really don't think I was prepared for the walking bit. Caroline has been mobile for so long that I really didn't think that things would be much different when she was getting around on two feet. Boy, was I wrong. Walking is a game changer. She. Just. Doesn't. STOP. Instead of crawling around to her toys, she just wants to walk all over the house. She can get from one end of the house to the other in about 15 seconds flat. I haven't sat down in weeks. I'm thinking about investing in one of those huge dog pens... No, no, I'm just kidding... Kind of...

Caroline is still babbling away. Dada has become super popular again. Mama usually comes out when she is throwing a fit and crying about something (go figure). I'm pretty sure she is also trying to say "No". When I am trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do, she goes "Nin nin nin nin nin nin nin!".

One thing that she kinda started doing this last month was blowing kisses. She blew a kiss to Steven the other day, but she is still pretty inconsistent with that.

However, waving "hello" and "bye-bye" are probably her favorite parts about going somewhere. She was doing it before, but it was hit or miss. Now, she gets SOOOO excited and practically waves her whole body with her arm. The other night, we were in a restaurant and she was standing in my lap waving frantically.... To no one. Poor girl, no one was even giving her a sympathy wave. That didn't matter to her though.

Caroline had been getting a little finicky with baby food for awhile, but she absolutely will not touch the stuff now. At first, I was really excited, but I have since changed my tune. Figuring out what to feed her has become quite a challenge. I thought we would have no problem because when I was making her food, she ate everything under the sun (except peas-she totally gets that from me, ick). Caroline is not having it though. She loves cheese, practically every kind of fruit, and all of her little cereal/puff things, but that's about as far as it goes. She always wants whatever I am eating, and I am always more than happy to oblige her, but if I make it just for her, she wants nothing to do with it. Ugh. I know this is just a phase and we've just got to get through it.

Once again this month, this was the best pic I could get. Can you say perpetual motion???

One thing is for sure, Caroline is a lovey little nugget. She is always picking things up and hugging them or showing them love by putting her cheek on them. She definitely knows how to work it too. She has recently found it hilarious to bite me as hard as she can while I am holding her. When I yelp, she lays her head on my shoulder and hugs me. It makes it hard to get mad when she does that... However, my left shoulder is covered in little bruises/welts.... Not so cute.

Can't. Stop. Moving!
This has become a problem when we go places. The grocery store has become my most dreaded errand. She tries to stand up in the cart, takes things from the shelf and tries to throw them, and turns around in the buggy and throws what I have in there out. As soon as I pick up the item, she throws another one out. The other day I was getting pretty frazzled with this little game (we had only been playing it for 10 minutes) when this little old lady patted me on the shoulder and said, "I remember those days. Hang in there."

Steven and I have pretty much decided that restaurants are out of the question with her. We have already joined the blue hair crowd by going to eat dinner during the early bird special, but it doesn't matter. Caroline just wants down to run around. The last couple meals we have eaten out have been so miserable that we have pretty much decided that we will be getting a baby-sitter from now on if we want to go out to eat. It just isn't worth it to spend the money if you can't enjoy it. Thankfully, she is finally able to go to the nursery during mass. They don't take them under 1, so I have literally been counting the days until then, and they were nice enough to take her a couple weeks early ;)

"Oh hey Mom!"

Loving on the weird blue bird again.

I just love those big brown eyes.

Of course, the photo shoot in her crib didn't last long

So we moved it to the floor

Books are still her main obsession. In this picture, she had just grabbed the book. She held it upside down for just a second and then flipped it right-side up. I didn't think much of it until the other day when I saw her do it again. Of course, the teacher nerd in me decided to test this out to see if she really knew the difference. I gave her a few of her books upside down, and she quickly corrected everyone of them. Then I gave her one of my magazines-same thing. I know what you're all thinking: I must be the first parent to think my kid is a genius.

One of her favorite things to do is to drag all the books off the shelf in her room and just make a huge mess. Hurricane Caroline had just hit the shelf in this picture.

High knees

"Cheese!!!"

Please excuse all the clutter in the background. I had been cleaning out her closet on this particular day, and hadn't really prepared for a photo shoot that would include the whole room.

Always on the go!

I just can't imagine what the next few months have in store. Something tells me I better put my big girl pants on and hold on!

Elmo

As much as I dreaded having "characters" take over our house/lives, I am afraid to say that Caroline is a smitten kitten. Who is the obnoxious character of her obsession, you might ask? None other than Elmo.

He is red, furry, and has big eye balls on the top of his head. His voice is funny borderline annoying, and yet you can't help but smile. But Caroline doesn't care. She loves him any way. And truth be told, the lovable little dude has grown on Steven and I as well.

The funny thing is, Caroline doesn't even really know who Elmo is. I have tried to get her to watch Sesame Street a couple times just to get her to sit still for more than 30 seconds, but she couldn't be less interested in the TV (which I am perfectly ok with-I already felt like a bad mom for trying). However, our phones are another story. Back when Caroline started teething and she was an angry bear, out of total desperation, I pulled up Elmo on Youtube. When Elmo did his thing, a magical thing happened: Caroline stopped crying (and so did I). The Youtube videos are perfect for her because they are only 1-2 minutes long, which is about all she can stand.

The first video she fell in love with was Elmo's Song. It is a catchy little number. Another favorite is Elmo's Ducks. I may or may not know every single word to that song (and many others). They have become my life-line when trying to get through the checkout at the grocery store or when we go out to eat. I always said I would never do that, but as most of you know, I am living my list of "nevers".

Grandma Daisy bought Caroline a big Elmo for Christmas. He is pretty much as big as she is. But that doesn't stop her from carrying him all over the house.

Two lovable facesGiving Elmo some love. She is such a lovey little thing. When she loves/likes something, she turns her head and puts her cheek to whatever it is that she is loving at the moment. I didn't teach her that. She just started doing it one day. It makes my heart smile ;)

Kissing Elmo

Doing some yoga with Elmo. Gotta work on that Downward Dog!

Off they go! (Doesn't Elmo look excited??)

Showing Elmo to Jack

And of course she has Elmo PJs. Duh.

Loving on Elmo again

Elmo can never have too many hugs

Like I said, she reallllyyyyy loves Elmo...

So sweet :)

Elmo may be the first, but I'm sure he won't be the last character to take over our house. I'm just waiting for the day that Steven shows up to work with a Little Mermaid band-aid ;)